The collar

I bought a collar
Which was taller than a normal collar

I tie it on the dog's neck
Not on the ship's deck

Some of them shine
And HEY... those are not mine

It's like a watch strap
And I forgot to tell you, it doesn't have a map

It costs quite a lot of money
And it's not funny

I think it's quite bad
And please don't get mad

And you need to take my advice
Not twice
That a collar is made out of mice

The Battle

We finished our battle
With a loud rattle.

We used swords
Made out of wood boards.

We used some guns
Which fired some buns.

We used a tank
Which had a walk-the-plank.

We had an army
Whose name was Barney.

We were wearing metal clothes
Which killed the goats.

We used bows and for arrows
We used sparrows.

We used a kite
Because we didn't know how to fight.

I am sick

My name is Edd.
And I am in bed.

My throat is sore.
And is getting much more.

My blood is blue.
And I am getting swine flu.

I have a stomach ache.
And I am getting a tooth ache.

I am having a runny nose.
While I am doing a dance pose.

You have to find
That I am getting blind.

I have got a boil.
And you don't know it's made out of foil.

I have constipation.
And dehydration.

I can't hear
Because I drank too much beer.

I've got a blister.
While feeding my sister.

I think I am going to die.
While saying Goodbye.

Geysers

If you buy a geyser
You will see Julius Ceaser.

If you buy a geyser
Just put that in your freezer.

You use it to boil your water
And watch Harry Potter.

They have a wire
Which is made out of car tire.

If it gives you current shock
That means you just need to take a walk.

The Snake

There was a snake
Who loved to rake
While eating cake
And drinking chocolate shake

He only knew how to slither
While getting much bigger
And saw an ant much smaller
And got one dollar

He was very long
And he played the gong
And sang a song
And always went wrong

He wears lots of shirts
While getting lots of hurts
And his name was Gurts

The Mouse

There was a mouse
Who lived in a farmhouse

He ate lots of cheese
Which belonged to the bees

He went to school
In a swimming pool

His name is Burt
Because he plays in dirt

Where does he sleep?
He sleeps on a sheep

He loves a girl
And once he gave her a pearl

You know he has a tail
Because you read a fairy tale

He lives with a farmer
And his mother lives much farther

You've got to know that he is really a rat
Who is being chased by a cat!

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!

Cellphones

Cellphones have microphones
They have some games
Of the Thames

It has a clock
Which gives current shock

You can take a picture
Of a picture

If you want to send an email
You have to know your gmail

You get so crazy about cellphones
You didn't even choose your ring tones

You've got to pay five thousand bucks
And for change, you get ducks

You have some rates
Which you pay by plates

They have a sim card
So you can see Cacofonix the Bard (Asterix characters)

If you get some free Tintax (drink in Asterix)
They have probably got it from Dipsomaniax (Asterix characters)

And that's why do buy a cellphone!